Bono's Blog 3/31 Finally Some Art

Real Quiet

Fusaichi Pegasus

Affirmed

Top Row:Secretariat, Seattle Slew, Affirmed, Unbridled, Sunday Silence, Thunder Gulch
Bottom Row:Grindstone, Silver Charm, Real Quiet, Fusaichi Pegasus, Barbaro, Street Sense

Hey everyone! I'm back. It been a while and I have alot to get to. First of all it's spring time in Vegas! There are number of things that pop right into my head when I think of spring. Flowers blooming, Carty with allergies starts snoring and has boggers all the time, NCAA basketball, wind, birds chirping, baseball, my Mama with allergies starts snoring and has boggers all the time, Easter and the Kentucky Derby. As you can see above with the help of my Dad we merged the last two to create a little bit of art. If you want to call it that. I'm sure some of you real artist view this in the same realm as a velvet painting. But I don't care, this is the best a couple no talent meatball males can come up with. And it's been some time since there has been some art on here. What you see is what we call the Derby Dozen. The eggs are colored in the same color schemes as the jockey silks of various Kentucky Derby winners. We picked the last three Triple Crown winners and the other nine are a few of our favorites over the years. Most of the creative thinking on the project was mine, but my Dad did most of the coloring. Holding eggs without thumbs is quite the task, as is typing. I posted a couple pictures of the actual horses so you have a frame of reference. They have their names above them. A little trivia on them, "Fusaichi" means #1 in Japanese. If you ever wondered what a $4,000,000 horse looks like, that's what Fusaichi Pegasus cost at public auction. The most ever for a Derby winner. And my Mama constantly complains how much I cost her. On the contrary, Real Quiet was the cheapest. $18,000. His owner earned his fortune by owning numerous McDonald's franchises. Hence red and gold color scheme...I'll use that as a segway to the next photo below which is some crazy taste test my Mama is conducting on Me and Carty. Rochelle convinced her that the Purina we've been eating is like feeding us McDonald's. I don't buy it. I think eating at McDonald's is like eating at McDonald's. Everything else is just a step up from there. Aside from the fries of course. Those things are more addictive than crack, which is why I stay away. Anyway, my Mama is planning on changing our food and she is trying to figure out which one of these foods we'll like best. It's not going to work. I've been ordering take out while she's at work.


Speaking of takeout. The LV Review Journal released their bogus Best of Las Vegas list. I'm pretty sure those jokers at the RJ have been reading my blog. They named CJ's Bar-b-cue the best bar-b-cue in Vegas. Go back to my list and I had them pegged 3 months ago. Also, Applebee's was nowhere to be found on their best meal for $10 or less. No, I really don't believe it's plagiarism. As the old saying goes, even a broken clock is right twice a day. I still think they are really lazy though. Get this, their best new restaurant(opened in 2007) was Buzz Bar-b-cue. But CJ's was also opened in 2007. How can that be? CJ's beat them in the bar-b-cue category but not new restaurant? Great job editor. Do you know who I delegate this task to with my list? Carty! That's right, my idiot carpet eating brother. I'm %100 certain he would have caught this error. And I have not even gotten through their whole list yet. I'm sure I'll find a few more oversights.

One last thing about spring. It also means tax time. I wanted to share a little something I came across when I was doing my Mama's taxes. Yup, I do taxes. I have an Associates in accounting from CCSN. Yeah, they let cats in. Actually I think the majority of CCSN graduates don't qualify as human. Their only admissions requirement is that your check or somebody Else's check clears(I believe they offer a course in identity theft help you with this).If you need last minute tax help I'm available for hire. $50 fee, plus %10 of your return. If I do your taxes you WILL get a return. While I was filling out my Mama's Schedule A, I stumbled across this gem from the US Government. The following paragraph is under the section of things you cannot deduct in regards to charitable donations

Travel expenses(including meals and lodging) while away from home, unless there was no significant element of personal pleasure, recreation, or vacation in travel.

So I guess you can deduct travel that you may do for charities as long as you don't get any pleasure from being charitable during your trip? If you are audited how can you prove this? How can the IRS prove this? Does this mean you also have to eat crappy meals and stay at sleazy motels if you travel for charity? What qualifies as a "significant element" of personal pleasure? So if you take a trip for cherity your itnerary must look like this. Fly Northwest Airlines to Detroit(Cleveland and El Paso are also acceptable), when you reach Detroit on your way out of the airport you must eat an $8 personal pizza that's been sitting on that little steel rack for 6 hours. You can't sit while you eat, you have shove it down on the way to baggage claim. Don't even thing about getting that little cart to help your transport your luggage. Rent a Ford any Ford. Stay at a Day's Inn where the Eastern Indian owner will completely jack up your reservation and bill. Trust me this will happen (this happened to my dad despite warnings from my Mama not to book there and let her take care of the reservation). With the added bonus of him smelling like urine. Then you have to take a cold shower and sleep with the window open in the winter(no AC if its summer). Then reverse the whole thing when you leave. And if you got even a little bit of pleasure helping those autistic kids don't even dare deduct your expenses.....I want to meet the guy that thinks these rules up.