Bono's Blog 2/23

I've been a little upset lately. A few days ago I re-read my last blog. To my dismay I discovered that my Mama censored it. Out of respect to her I will not disclose what was censored, but I'm not happy about it. I didn't think what I wrote was that bad. I couldn't figure out why she did it. I thought she might have been compelled to commit a communist act by the retirement of Fidel Castro. Then I realized my Mama would never know that he retired. She never watches or reads the news. If the event is not big enough for TV Land to break into Green Acres or Sanford and Son she has no idea that the event even happened. So that was ruled out. I got to thinking there are handful of communist tendencies going on in this household. For example my Mama forces me to share equally with my Dad and Carty, even though they are easily the two least accomplished members of the household. Also, Carty often gets locked in the bathroom in middle of the night for scratching at everything and making various annoying noises. He gets locked up even if my Dad does not catch him in the act. No trial, jury, nothing. It's like a kitty Gitmo right here in my own house. In an attempt to get under my mama's skin I have been trying to come up with a communist-esque nickname to call her, like Stalin(quickly ruled out, seemed a little harsh). I kicked around Jen Chi Minh and Mao Za-mama. Tried to work Lenin in somehow, but nothing worked at all with that. I think I'm going to settle on Kim Jen-il. Yes, I'll have to explain this to her, because as mentioned before she would never know who Kim Jung-il is until we go to war with North Korea if I did not. If anybody has any nickname suggestions fill free to post them in the comments section. Hopefully the Chairman will not sensor it. Also, I'm guessing with all the political references so far in this blog I'm setting off all sorts of bells and whistles at the NSA. They'll be reading this blog from now on. So I'd like to say hello to them. You're doing a bang up job guys.

The Oscars are tomorrow night. I can't wait. You all know I love award shows. I don't care that they drag for to long and are filled with people telling bad jokes. It's like my blog in that sense, except with a lot more cleavage. I would post my top 10 list except that I don't think I watched 10 movies this year. And the ones I did see were probably not released this year. Of the movies I did see none stuck out as being really good. However, I can tell you one not to see. That would be Good Luck Chuck. It was horrible. My Mama made me watch it with her of course. Dane Cook is in it, which is about all you need to know. Who decided that this guy is talented anyway? He certainly can't act. I caught some of his stand up comedy act on HBO. The only thing that made me laugh was that he couldn't make me laugh. I won't go into the details of the movie but even gratuitous sex scenes and Jessica Alba in her underwear couldn't save this flick. If you've already watched it you have my condolences.