Bono's Blog 2/18-Home Alone

I watched the movie Superbad this weekend with my Mom. It was ok I guess. It's your typical teenager comedy along the lines of American Pie. The basic premise is a couple nerdy high school kids get invited to a "cool chicks" house for a party while her parents are out of town then hijinks ensue. My question is why do parents leave teenagers home alone? Is there a teen that does not attempt to create some sort of catastrophe when there parents go out of town for any length of time? You all did it when you were young. My dad has a few stories. Legend has it my late uncle Johnny had a live band playing at my great-granpa's house when he came home a day earlier than expected from vacation. It seems to me that appeal to parents of a few days without their teens is greater than the fear of the disaster they might find when they return. Typical human procrastanation. Living with both of our parents, myself and Carty also take advantage off their absence. Here's the story. For that last couple years I've been keeping a journal. At first I would put personal thoughts and feelings. But after a few weeks I walked by our litter and Carty was in there reading my personal journal while he was pinching a loaf. Since then I just fill it with mosty mindless drivel. Pretty much like my blog. Anyway, as you might know I'm very attached to my Mom, I don't like her going out of town for long periods. So as part of my journal I kept a log of all the things that we did while she was away, hoping she'll read it an think twice about doing it next time. I won't bore you with all of it. I'll just bore you with a sampling below. Remember, this is just the shananigans of a couple cats. Just imaging what a couple teens(who are by definition, certified dimwits) could pull off.

FRIDAY

7:05am.....Mom and Dad leave for the airport. You know they are going to be away for a while because our food bowl has a mountain of dry food so high that you would need two sherpas and billy goat to get to top of it.
7:05am.....Me and Carty scratch all the places that we get yelled at when Mom and Dad are home.
7:20am....Carty goes to work on Mount Purina.
7:35am....Carty is still eating. I tell him to stop already and make a comment about the size of his ass. We get into a fight. I rip a hunk of fur from his back and cut him over his eye.
1:07pm....After a series of naps, Me and Carty decide to have a party on Saturday night
2:34pm....Carty is on the horn trying to score us some high grade nip for the party.
2:35pm....Carty tells me to stop writting in my diary and diaries are for little girls. I insist that it's a journal not a diary. We get into a fight, this time I get cut across the nose.

SATURDAY

12:03pm....Carty is in the back porch with our nip dealer. A real shaddy cat named Flaco. He constantly brags about all the time he has done in the pound. He's the kind of cat you don't want to hang around with, but his stuff is really good so I deal with him.
12:05pm....I overhear Carty inviting Flaco to the party. I bury my head in my paws. This is not good.
12:10pm....I scold Carty for inviting Flaco. We get into a fight. This one ends quickly as I land a clean left cross to his chin.
3:05pm.....Cindy comes over. I guess she is supposed to check on us. I peek at her from around the corner. Her teenage daughter Megan is with her.
3:11pm.....Megan drops her expensive cell phone in our toilet. This is why I use a litter and not a toilet.
3:17pm.....Cindy changes our litter. Thank God! It was getting dangerously full and we still have the party tonight.
4:45pm.....Carty is trying to eat our living room carpet. I can't believe we are brothers.
10:45pm....The party is going well. Good vibe with friends and lots of lady cats.
11:05pm....Flaco shows up with a crew of uninvited thugs. This could get ugly.

Sunday

1:03am....Carty is totally smashed. He is doing an air guitar version of Johnny B. Goode on top of the entertainment center. We've all been there.
4:07am....The night winds down uneventfully. My self and a couple buddys finish off what left of the nip. I'm thankful for a fun evening with disaster averted.

My mama came back that evening. No worse for wear, Me, Carty and the house escaped relatively well. I guess my point is it probably not a good idea to leave some hormone filled teenager home alone for more than an hour or two. Really, only something bad can happen. The same goes for cats.

See you later...my mom is getting dangerously close to order jewelry from QVC and somebody owes me a new scratching post.

PS. If somebody could tell me how to get the spellcheck working on this think again it would be fantastic.