Bono's Blog 5/23

My family has been working on another hair brain scheme. We'll most of My family. Me included. Of course its not working. Over the last couple weeks my Mom, Dad and I decided we were going to cut back on some of our vices. My Mom and Dad made a pact to eat less. Me and my Dad made pact to cut back on booze and gambling. Carty on the other hand he is going to have nothing to do with this. In fact he went in the other direction entirely. He decided he was going to kick things up a notch. Needless to say Carty is the only one having any success. 1st of all last week my Mom and Dad came home with a load of groceries. Including Klondike bars and some other chocolate covered oatmeal cookie ice cream sandwiches that I can't even describe how good they are. The this weekend they brought home a gigantic package of pork ribs to grill for the long weekend. Apparently they got it for a great price because they were really excited about it. They had planned on cutting back on eating, now they are high fiveing over meat. Obviously the plan is not going well. The deals I have with my Dad are not going well either. Last Saturday we couldn't resist the lure of the Preakness. We won, but gambled none the less. I have 2 months allowance bet on the Lakers winning the NBA title. And get this, Myself, Mom and Dad killed 2 pitchers of margaritas last Saturday night while watching Juno. Yes, My Mama was knocking down margaritas like nobody's business. This morning I drank half a bottle of white zin while watching the Price is Right. I'm drinking the other half as I'm typing this. On the topic of drinking on a weekday morning. I got to tell you, you have to give it a try. There is something about the extra sinfulness of it that makes it better. I think we have all indulged like this someway. Why are the bad things the most fun? As mentioned earlier, Carty is not cutting back on any of his vices. The vet told him he needs to loose weight. Since then he's been eating like a maniac. He claims life is too short to cut back on things. He's really trying to prove a point. None of us are really sure what the point is but his determination is impressive. I haven't seen him go after anything like this since he decided he was going to watch all seven Police Academy movies. He accomplished it. He even threw in Police Academy Girls on Skinemax for good measure. Since we went to the vet he has been trying to pickup on every female that comes with in earshot. It's been amazing. He says he needs to get all he can before he gets so fat that he has no chance at all. For the first time I can remember I think I admire Carty. If nothing else at least he has the ability to be honest with himself.