Bono's Blog 4/24

For the third time in the last week I've been surprised by people being surprised by animals acting like, well animals. If you remember a week ago a giant grizzly bear attacked his trainer. At the end of the week a shark attacked a swimmer in you would not believe where...that's right the ocean! People seem to be surprised by that. And finally my brother took whiz on the floor next to his litter. In each of these cases all parties involved seem genuinely surprised when it happened. First of all, is there really a need to train a big ole freaking grizzly? The bear recently appeared in Will Farrel's latest movie. You know, the one that is just like the prior twelve movies he made. Apparently this bear was quite the actor, so you humans felt the need to keep him caged up till his next project came along. How many rolls can there possibly be in Hollywood for grizzly bears? Was he reviewing scrips and working with his agent on picking his next roll? I guess now that he killed his trainer they are considering euthanizing him. So there going to end Brando's career just as it's getting on track? That's a great idea. Kill the poor guy for behaving like exactly what he is. In an article I was reading about the incident, it said they were going to decide what to do with the bear after an investigation. What exactly is there to investigate? Do they think their might have been a second bear that framed the accused bear so he can pickup all his movie roles? I think they should check him into a rehab facility like all the other Hollywood actors......On our second incident there was a shark attack off the coast of San Diego. Judging by the news coverage it got, you would have thought this was the first in a wave coordinated attacks by sharks across the nation. I hear when President Bush heard about it, he gave a blank stare for seven minutes before deciding(based on the always sound advice of Dick Cheany) on sending in thousands of no bid contractors in to the Atlantic Ocean to get the shark. They'll be looking for him as long as it takes. On our tax dollar of course. Stay the course! Hillary said she came under attack by the shark also. Then later said she really wasn't. She was tired and miss remembered the whole thing(Bono's Blog "Fair and Balanced"). It was the lead story on every news web site. The water was very clear that day and helicopters were able to track the shark by air. It was like the O.J. chase. He even had a buddy swimming along with him. No, it was not Al Cowlings. A number of reports called the attack "unprovoked". I'm no oceanographer but I'm almost positive you don't need to talk shit to a Great White Shark for him to attack your ass. These guys are the bad asses of the sea. They do pretty much what they want, provoked or not......And finally, my Mama was shocked because on Friday, for the second time in a week and a half Carty missed the litter and took a piss on the floor. Not sure why she was surprised. She cleans the toilet Dad takes a leak in. It's not like he's a master marksman. Now Carty catches flack getting a little on floor. I bash Carty quite a bit on this blog but I have to defend him here. Where is the equity? Also, if you don't have a penis you just don't understand. They can be tricky suckers at times. There are allot of factors that could cause you to miss. You could be tired, drunk, have morning wood or some sort of combination of the previous mentioned items. We need to give Carty a break this time....That's all for now. Tune in later in the week for my Kentucky Derby picks.